Title: fairer than the fairest maiden
Series: The X-Files
Pairing: Mulder/Scully & porn. My eternal OTP~&hearts
Prompt: if you weren't real I'd make you up @ 31_days
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 173
Notes: Set in the I Want To Believe-verse
Summary: In which Scully leaves town for a conference, and a woe-begotten Mulder runs out of pencils.

Sometimes, Mulder wonders what life might be like if there were no Scully.

Well. Easier, probably.

No strident banter. No fancy medical jargon. No "that theory is so convoluted and astronomically improbable that even the Mexican goat sucker would probably make more sense."

It'd be easy on the brain, he muses. Just once in a while.

Currently, Scully is at a medical conference in Seattle, and he's left with nothing but stacks of rather dubious reading material (those had better be gone by this weekend, Mulder), and too many pencils.

Which are now gone.

Invariably, things come down to this:

Endless magazines ripped apart and torn asunder. Halle Berry's mouth. Madonna's eyes. Jenna Jameson's nose.

All clumsily affixed to some makeshift portrait of an untraceable woman with too-green eyes and blond-red-brown hair.

Newly returned, the real Scully is less than impressed.

"Is there any particular reason, Mulder, why you've bestowed Pamela Anderson's boobs upon my likeness?"

"Haha, um. No. No reason in particular~&hearts "

(This, he realizes, is probably a good time to embark on that house-wide pencil recovery project).